The Key To Getting Your Ex Back – The No Contact Rule
There are a lot of easy mistakes that you can fall into right after a breakup, but none more so than this. One of the most classic problems people face is what to say to your ex to get him back. The answer may surprise you: NOTHING!
Right after a big flaming breakup, a lot of emotions are flying around and it can be easy for either of you to say the wrong things and really hurt each others feelings, causing irreparable damage to the relationship. If you can avoid this, you will wind up finding the road to a reunion a lot easier than if you had fallen into this trap.
Often you will hear the very good advice to take a break from each other, to enter a term of no contact between you whatsoever. What is considerably less common is to hear exactly how long this period should last. I recommend you keep it up for about a months time, as that is generally about the right amount of time for anger to die down and the missing of each other to set in.
It is absolutely crucial, however, that you stick to this rule with no straying! A lot of people fall into one of the two following mistakes and break the No Contact rule, making it all the harder to regain the respect and affection of your ex:
1. Drunk Dialing. If you expect to never feel lonely, start expecting it. Your ex being gone leaves a big hole, and a lot of peope choose to try to fill that hole with alcohol. It can help take the edge off, but I dont advise you drink your problems away, or one particularly lonely night you just may find your judgement failing you, and you make a phone call you know you shouldnt.
2. Text Message Terrorism. Immediately after a breakup, most of us go into Panic Mode and start doing everything we can to try to stop our exes at the door and keep them from leaving…so we resort to a virtual attack through our cell phones or email. Sending message after message, making call after call, all we end up doing is driving the loves of our lives crazy and forcing them to avoid us as much as possible.
Its important to fight against these mistakes, as slipping could cost you a lot…too much to risk. If you can keep a good hold of yourself, you will be far more prepared for when you start talking again, and have a much better chance of getting him back.
Never forget that the best purpose of this time apart is not just to keep you from messing up your case further, but to allow you time and space to think. Devising a plan to get your ex back is far more effective than just winging it, as human nature tends to lead us in the wrong direction when it comes to this. Having an underlying strategy for this whole process will make your efforts a lot more effective.
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