Here’s how to save a relationship, but first a little story. Sean works late hours and Lizzy doesn’t feel like he has time for her. She spends most of her time taking care of the children and Sean doesn’t feel like she’s got time for him. Can their relationship be saved? Should it be saved?

Before a relationship can be saved, you have to decide if it’s worth saving. Most can be saved if both parties involved decide to put in the hard work sometimes required. If, however, one of the people involved isn’t dedicated to saving it, there isn’t much you can do.

The biggest challenge faced with how to save a relationship is that both people have to come to the decision that the relationship is actually worth saving. There are plenty of people driving by you every day that stay in “convenient” relationships or end up in marriages for the kids, and this just isn’t enough. You both have to be dedicated and certain it’s worth saving.

One problem with how to save a relationship is that people falsely believe that the symptoms of the problems are the problems themselves. That’s why the next step you need to take is to zone in on the problem or problems in the relationship.

Many people see an affair as a problem. After all, affairs cause many break ups, but in truth, the affair is usually a symptom of a deeper problem. Often this is lack of real intimacy. Most likely we see this situation and assume the affair is the problem, but it’s just the symptom. What’s worse, if the real problem isn’t dealt with, the symptoms could continue. While you may be able to stop another affair with guilt, other problems, like pornography addiction, may arise because the core issue hasn’t been handled.

When you start to handle the real core of the issue, and not the symptoms, you are able to save the relationship.

After you have identified the true problems, you are able to verbalize your feelings and share your thoughts while allowing your partner to do the same. Listen to their concerns, and hold your partner’s hand while listening to them. This will show them that you want to reconnect even when you are emotionally swirling. When your partner mentions something that hurts you, remember that they aren’t usually doing it out of spite, but because they want to save the relationship.

If your biggest problem is that you don’t spend time together like you used to, schedule a weekend getaway or set up a weekly date night, even if it’s Wednesday. The two of you can take turns thinking of different fun ways to spend the evening together.

If communication is your issue, schedule 20 minutes before bed when you turn off the TV, shut down the computer and silence your phone and just talk, just the two of you. And, then take action and do it.

The last thing to do is realize that saving a relationship is very often a long process. You will experience joy and pain along the way as you take two steps forward and one step back. Just be slow to place blame and always be fast to apologize.

Is the relationship your struggling with worth saving? I hope it is, and if you think so, follow the advice given in this article and be committed to it.

Want to find out more about How To Save Your Relationship, then visit Paul ‘PJ’ Jackson’s site and discover if you can Save Your Relationship or if it is doomed.