Here’s how to save a relationship, but first a little story. Sean works late hours and Lizzy doesn’t feel like he has time for her. She spends most of her time taking care of the children and Sean doesn’t feel like she’s got time for him. Can their relationship be saved? Should it be saved?
Before a relationship can be saved, you have to decide if it’s worth saving. Most can be saved if both parties involved decide to put in the hard work sometimes required. If, however, one of the people involved isn’t dedicated to saving it, there isn’t much you can do.
The biggest challenge faced with how to save a relationship is that both people have to come to the decision that the relationship is actually worth saving. There are plenty of people driving by you every day that stay in “convenient” relationships or end up in marriages for the kids, and this just isn’t enough. You both have to be dedicated and certain it’s worth saving.
One problem with how to save a relationship is that people falsely believe that the symptoms of the problems are the problems themselves. That’s why the next step you need to take is to zone in on the problem or problems in the relationship.
Many people see an affair as a problem. After all, affairs cause many break ups, but in truth, the affair is usually a symptom of a deeper problem. Often this is lack of real intimacy. Most likely we see this situation and assume the affair is the problem, but it’s just the symptom. What’s worse, if the real problem isn’t dealt with, the symptoms could continue. While you may be able to stop another affair with guilt, other problems, like pornography addiction, may arise because the core issue hasn’t been handled.
When you start to handle the real core of the issue, and not the symptoms, you are able to save the relationship.
After you have identified the true problems, you are able to verbalize your feelings and share your thoughts while allowing your partner to do the same. Listen to their concerns, and hold your partner’s hand while listening to them. This will show them that you want to reconnect even when you are emotionally swirling. When your partner mentions something that hurts you, remember that they aren’t usually doing it out of spite, but because they want to save the relationship.
If your biggest problem is that you don’t spend time together like you used to, schedule a weekend getaway or set up a weekly date night, even if it’s Wednesday. The two of you can take turns thinking of different fun ways to spend the evening together.
If communication is your issue, schedule 20 minutes before bed when you turn off the TV, shut down the computer and silence your phone and just talk, just the two of you. And, then take action and do it.
The last thing to do is realize that saving a relationship is very often a long process. You will experience joy and pain along the way as you take two steps forward and one step back. Just be slow to place blame and always be fast to apologize.
Is the relationship your struggling with worth saving? I hope it is, and if you think so, follow the advice given in this article and be committed to it.
Want to find out more about How To Save Your Relationship, then visit Paul ‘PJ’ Jackson’s site and discover if you can Save Your Relationship or if it is doomed.
Filed under Divorce by 
There are a lot of easy mistakes that you can fall into right after a breakup, but none more so than this. One of the most classic problems people face is what to say to your ex to get him back. The answer may surprise you: NOTHING!
Right after a big flaming breakup, a lot of emotions are flying around and it can be easy for either of you to say the wrong things and really hurt each others feelings, causing irreparable damage to the relationship. If you can avoid this, you will wind up finding the road to a reunion a lot easier than if you had fallen into this trap.
Often you will hear the very good advice to take a break from each other, to enter a term of no contact between you whatsoever. What is considerably less common is to hear exactly how long this period should last. I recommend you keep it up for about a months time, as that is generally about the right amount of time for anger to die down and the missing of each other to set in.
It is absolutely crucial, however, that you stick to this rule with no straying! A lot of people fall into one of the two following mistakes and break the No Contact rule, making it all the harder to regain the respect and affection of your ex:
1. Drunk Dialing. If you expect to never feel lonely, start expecting it. Your ex being gone leaves a big hole, and a lot of peope choose to try to fill that hole with alcohol. It can help take the edge off, but I dont advise you drink your problems away, or one particularly lonely night you just may find your judgement failing you, and you make a phone call you know you shouldnt.
2. Text Message Terrorism. Immediately after a breakup, most of us go into Panic Mode and start doing everything we can to try to stop our exes at the door and keep them from leaving…so we resort to a virtual attack through our cell phones or email. Sending message after message, making call after call, all we end up doing is driving the loves of our lives crazy and forcing them to avoid us as much as possible.
Its important to fight against these mistakes, as slipping could cost you a lot…too much to risk. If you can keep a good hold of yourself, you will be far more prepared for when you start talking again, and have a much better chance of getting him back.
Never forget that the best purpose of this time apart is not just to keep you from messing up your case further, but to allow you time and space to think. Devising a plan to get your ex back is far more effective than just winging it, as human nature tends to lead us in the wrong direction when it comes to this. Having an underlying strategy for this whole process will make your efforts a lot more effective.
Just break up? Get immediate relief from break up agony and a proven plan to get your ex back with Magic of Making Up. Free information and help at http://www.magicofmakingup.com/.
Filed under Dating by
Right after a hard breakup all you want is to find another chance with the one you love. Unfortunately, it can be hard to know where to begin! Here are 3 words of advice to help you out with the difficult process of getting your ex back.
1) Oddly enough, it’s actually a very effective trick to actually cut off contact with your ex for about a month after the breakup. This may seem counterproductive but in reality it’s very healthy for your efforts. It gives your ex some time to cool off and think, and you some time to organize yourself and create a plan -one thing you should never be without.
Without this valuable breather time, you’d find it pretty hard to pull things together by just winging it. It’s always important to make sure you know what you’re doing before you do it, or else it may have poor consequences you didn’t at first expect.
2) Movies have somehow made it seem like every problem you have will eventually solve itself or be solved for you if you sit and cry long enough. This isn’t true, you have to take matters into your own hands and take back your life for yourself! You have to be responsible for where your life goes, not somebody else. Feel your pain from the breakup, but don’t let it bring you down and keep you from getting your life fixed.
Whatever your plan is for getting your ex back, it has to depend on you. Not your ex, not your friends, you. It’s nobody else’s responsibility, and nobody else can do it like you can. It may feel too difficult, like you can’t do it alone…but you’re the one who has to make it happen. Take comfort in the fact that you CAN do it, you may just need a little help.
3) Make sure you’re in the company of people who care about you. Family, friends…whoever there is who values your feelings and wants you to be happy, spend a lot of time with them. The support can help you heal your pain and find the motivation to work things out. But avoid just using them as a shoulder to cry on…it’s not right to lay your burden completely at the feet of other people. Value your friends, and do your best to enjoy their company.
Don’t underestimate the healing power of being with people who care for you. Just having somebody makes everything seem a little less impossible,and their support is something they’ll gladly give you. Just make sure you don’t take advantage of their kindness.
So there you go…those tips could make a huge difference in how difficult this process has to be, if you really think about them and take heed. This whole thing rests with you, so you need to make sure you’re going into this situation prepared. You’re one step there already, take the next and form a plan to get your ex back!
Just broken up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven process to get your ex back with Magic of Making Up. Free articles and info at http://www.magicofmakingup.com/.
Filed under Dating by
