Fix Relationship Problems Even If Your Mate Isn’t Trying
You can fix relationship problems even if you seem to be the only trying to change your relationship. You can make your relationship better even if your mate doesnt seem interested in changing anything at all. There are many ways to accomplish this, but one is the 4 Step Quick Change Method.
Step One: Get Clear on What You Want To Have Change. What is it that would make the relationship better? Is it more sex? More communication? More fun time? Less fighting and arguing? More quality time spent together with the kids as a family? Less jealousy?
The first step to changing your relationship is to be as specific and concrete as you can about what it is that you want to change. The more specific you are, the more likely you’ll be to get the change you want.
Step Two: Make a request of your partner. Pick one thing you want to change first and then simply ask your mate, being as specific and concrete as you can. Dont say Can we have more communication? That is vague and could mean anything.
Instead, say something like “Instead of watching tv during dinner, can we sit at the table and talk about our day?” Paint a picture of what you want them to do differently.
The Third Step: You’ve made a specific request, so expect a specific answer. Let your partner either say yes, no, or maybe. Don’t let them ignore you.
Look, they may surprise you and just say yes if you have made an attractive offer or request. Or they may want to counter-offer to talk while you go for an evening walk or whatever. And they may so no, but if so, it’s okay.
Step Four. Dealing with no. If they say no, you dont need to argue or fight. Often times, their first no can be automatic. They just need to get it off their chest before they can accede to your request. Other times, their no can be just a delayed yes. They will just start doing what you asked them without ever saying yes.
And sometimes, their no will be authentic, and then you need to honor it and make your own choices. But if they say no, you can always ask again tomorrow or next week, if it is important to you dont just accept the first no, ask again, this can help them get to yes.
There is a lot more to fixing relationship problems, but this tool can get you started. You will find with a little skill you can change your relationship when you are the only one who is trying.
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