Ex With Someone Else? Find Out Why This Can Be A Good Thing For You!
Breakups are hard enough…but when you find out your ex is with someone else, it makes matters feel even worse. But does rebound dating mean they don’t love you anymore?
No. In fact, it could be good news for you! A rebound relationship is when your ex is dating someone else to get over you. Generally, they are a distraction from having to deal with the painful emotions of your breakup and to help them move on.
Basically, your ex is dating this person in order to deal with the pain of losing you. Which means that there’s still a chance that you can repair the relationship and get back with your ex.
This is not the time to keep score, or make lists of who did what to whom and who is at fault. The point is, there are still feelings involved on both sides. And those feelings can be fanned back into a flame.
Because when you care about someone deeply, it takes more than a breakup or even a new relationship to make those feelings go away. Love may change sometimes, but it never truly dies.
When your ex is dating someone else, they are generally dating someone who isn’t at all like you. Whatever they felt was ‘wrong’ with your relationship, they’ll go for the opposite extreme in the new relationship. For instance, if you’re into fine art, their new partner will be into punk posters. Or if you’re a big sports fan, their partner will be all about theatre.
Before you start worrying and comparing yourself to the new partner, think about this…you’re not the only one comparing. Your ex went out of their way to choose someone unlike you, and because of that they can’t help but compare the two of you. And here’s something else…you get the chance to really understand what your ex is looking for.
The qualities the rebound has are something your ex felt was missing when you tow were together. Now you can use this opportunity to expand your personal horizons a bit and do some self-improvement work on yourself.
Rebound relationships rarely last long, so don’t butt in. Keep focused on yourself and once your ex is past the novelty of a new mate, you’ll start to figure more prominently in their mind.
That’s why you don’t want to chase. Let your ex realize that they miss the good things in your relationship. When they’re ready to make a move, be open. Welcome them back without blame or finger-pointing. This is the new and improved you, after all.
Here are some ‘golden rules’ to keep in mind when your ex is with someone else:
1. Do not attempt to convince them that you’re the only one for them. Let them come to this on their own.
2. Don’t fall all over yourself apologizing. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But then move on.
3. Don’t make grand promises to your ex in the hopes they’ll have a change of heart. You are who you are, and deep down they love you for it.
4. Don’t insist that you’re not at fault at all for what happened. Your ex will deal with this on their own, and if you hound them you’ll only make them dig in their heels and defend their position.
5. Do not, under any circumstance, beg them to take you back.
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